To Live Deeply You Must Love Deeply
Just some scattered thoughts about how truly living means you must be willing to be hurt.
I’m scared to meet you ‘cause then I might know you/ And then once I know you, I might fall in love/ Once I’m in love, then my heart is wide open/ For you to walk in, drop a bomb, blow it up/ So why love anything, anything, anything at all?/ Why love anything at all?/ If the higher I fly is the further I fall/ Then why love anything at all?/
In his collaboration single with Luke Combs titled Why, Jon Bellion gives us a peek into his emotional state before he meets his child for the first time. Bellion is scared; scared of loving something so deeply. Scared of opening up his heart. Scared of giving someone the power to destroy him. With all this in mind, Bellion asks, “Why love anything at all?” Frustratingly, he never gives us the answer. Perhaps it’s because he doesn’t need to answer. Perhaps it’s a rhetorical question. I think he’s onto something. I think Bellion is teaching us a truth about what it means to be human, about happiness, and about love.
To understand why we need to accept the risk of being hurt, I found this thought from author John Green particularly helpful:
Physical intimacy isn’t and can never be an effective substitute for emotional intimacy. - John Green
When I say that you must love deeply, perhaps what I really mean is you must have intense emotional intimacy with someone. Whether it’s with friends or a partner, being truly seen requires emotional intimacy. Think of a friendship that makes you truly fulfilled. Is that a friendship that never has moments of deep intimacy? Probably not. True connections with people involve a mix of both playful, light-hearted talking, and deep, emotionally vulnerable moments. With only light-hearted conversations, the friendship never becomes truly fulfilling. With only deep and emotionally vulnerable moments, the friendship becomes taxing.
It’s not easy to be vulnerable with people. You often worry about what they might think or that they won’t understand. I think you should take the risk anyway. If you are never willing to risk being hurt, you never risk being seen.
Love deeply - and you might just find yourself living deeply.